Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
