Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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