She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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