This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
