Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
