I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The Olympian is in my bed
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
