Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize