I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
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At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
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One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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