It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
