So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
