hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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