Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize