Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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