It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize