Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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