Quick, to the slutcave!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
