dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
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you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
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MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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