Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
