I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
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Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
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Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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