Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
