I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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