I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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