omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
