Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window