Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol