Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.