Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.

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(508): i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer. http://tfl.nu/xz6n

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(631): View more from New York

I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

I don't want you to recite the pledge!

(631): View more from New York

Pledge alligien to america to united states of america

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(631): I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge. (401): I don't want you to recite the pledge! (631): Pledge alligien to america to united states of america http://tfl.nu/s7dx

Replies (20) Good night (3435) Bad night (614)
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(917): View more from New York City

My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.

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(917): My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star. http://tfl.nu/572f

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.

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(704): I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing. http://tfl.nu/dymp

Replies (56) Good night (7818) Bad night (1240) Order T-Shirt
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(404): View more from Georgia

You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.

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(404): You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense. http://tfl.nu/zmp3

Replies (12) Good night (5688) Bad night (525)
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(214): View more from Texas

dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!

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(214): dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones! http://tfl.nu/aql1

Replies (72) Good night (6508) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?

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(203): Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock? http://tfl.nu/k7ck

Replies (27) Good night (5984) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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(213): View more from California

just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week

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(213): just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week http://tfl.nu/o3oo

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(937): View more from Ohio

Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?

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(937): Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower? http://tfl.nu/53j7

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(207): View more from Maine

we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else

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(207): we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else http://tfl.nu/gty0

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(970): View more from Colorado

I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.

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(970): I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life. http://tfl.nu/eqcg

Replies (21) Good night (1282) Bad night (945)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles

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(808): Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles http://tfl.nu/r6w3

Replies (8) Good night (821) Bad night (327) Order T-Shirt
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(773): View more from Illinois

I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it

(773): View more from Illinois

It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact

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(773): I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it (773): It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact http://tfl.nu/3h4p

Replies (2) Good night (343) Bad night (730)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Did he at least offer you guys chips?

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(781): So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor. (508): Did he at least offer you guys chips? http://tfl.nu/ptoa

Replies (4) Good night (1856) Bad night (381)
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(678): View more from Georgia

After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".

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(678): After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box". http://tfl.nu/z4mv

Replies (5) Good night (1226) Bad night (248)

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