Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?