i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
