All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
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