but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
