This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
