Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
