I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize