So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
