She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
