8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize