mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
