we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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