I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
