Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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