i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Small penises have feelings too.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
