I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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