so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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