I want you more than these girls want KFC
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
