she looked like the bat from fern gully.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
