hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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