i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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