from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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