i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
