i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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