Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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