Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
