I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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