who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
