Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
