I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
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we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
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Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED