Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
