i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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