I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
